Each family has ideas about whether or not to take children to a funeral.  It is also important to find out what the child feels about attending.  One thing is for sure.  Because there is so much mystery and secrecy about death and its rituals the child’s imagination may have already created some things that are scarier than reality. So, although it’s hard to do, find a quiet, private place and start off by asking the child what they think is happening and will happen.

My grandfather always loved his special spot by the lake.  He had many happy memories of fishing and spending time with his family there.  In fact, one of his last wishes was that his ashes be scattered on the shore of the lake.  But when the time came for us to scatter the ashes we all had the same question -this is a public place, are we allowed to scatter ashes here?

Almost every grief thought, feeling and behaviour is considered normal. And although society doesn’t generally consider this to be true, crying is really a gift because it allows for the release of some of these thoughts and feelings.

Dealing with the death of a loved one can be very difficult emotionally.  Amid the grief, family members may also have to deal with making choices around issues such as funeral or memorial services.  With this in mind, some people prefer to make their own arrangements ahead of time.